Mind Control

We always want what we do not have... well at least I do. Especially now. Being alone causes wonderful dreams which will probably never actually happen. It's quite depressing when you think about it. At least it is for me when I think about it.

The thing is, being alone and feeling the great need in not being so, brings on thoughts and memories of times when you weren't alone; when you weren't so down on life. And then you get to thinking that maybe nothing better will come along; maybe that was your one chance at being relatively content, despite the negations which ultimately brought on the downfall of the relationship in the first place. But you forget about those things; the things that caused so much division and grief. When you are alone, those things start to mean less and less. Because you settle. Because you are desperate and want to be near someone so unbelievably much. Why is it so hard to be alone? Why is it so difficult to live life without companionship? It certainly is a self-civil war learning how to spend all of your time with these mind controlling dreams.